Stress

I have not lost any more weight.

I'm pretty sad about that. And angry, mostly at myself for not doing what I should be doing. As if I'm going to wake up tomorrow miraculously 26 lbs thinner.

It's been a stressful few weeks. My oldest kid was diagnosed with ADHD, which explains a lot. And now I feel badly that for 2 years I've been "stop being such an asshole" and "why can't you get your act together." He is such a smart kid- his recent testing placed his IQ at 137. But he's disorganized and lacks any impulse control. He misses out on honor roll due to conduct. He couldn't apply for a middle school STEM magnet because of conduct. He's been denied permission to go on field trips because of conduct. It's a mess.

And I guess because he's smart, and academically he's doing just fine and standardized testing isn't an issue for him, I figured it was immaturity and just being obnoxious. Some kids are obnoxious, maybe I had one of them.

We're speaking with the doctor today about medication.

My middle is severely dyslexic among other issues. He's doing ok in kindergarten, but at his last IEP meeting they were concerned about him falling behind in first grade. I had him tested by the Lindamood-Bell program. They recommended an 8 week program for the summer.

An 8 week program, 4 hours a day, 5 days a week. At $114 an hour.

Holy shit. That's over $18K.

After some ridiculous back-and-forth with my mom, who offered to help pay and then backed out, we're doing it anyway and sucking up the cost. Goodbye, savings, it was nice to know you. But this program will be a game changer for him, and my boy is worth it.

So I haven't been walking, or working out, because I've been going to meetings and reading emails, and filling out forms and being on hold with my insurance company. And I haven't been ordering the grilled chicken or the salad or the steamed broccoli, I've been eating the burgers and the fries and the caramel corn. Which just ADDED to my stress. And made me break out. :(

By Friday everything should be in place. Here's to less stress, more water, and a new week.